Saturday, February 13, 2010

The Opening Ceremonies, eh.

Ah, the Winter Olympics. The premier sporting event for many an athelete. It is the one time, every four years, many sports get to be seen by more than the competitors, their families, and a few die hard fans. From Biathalon to Curling to Luge to Ski-jumping, the crowning moment in many an obscure, unknown, or unheard-of athlete's carreer is the Olympic Winter Games. As the kick-off to the competitions that will soon follow, the opening ceremonies are supposed to be a grand celebration of sport, goodwill, and the host counrty's culture.

So how did those hosers up north do? Overal,l I give them a B+. With the unrealistically high bar, and mutli-hundred million dollar budget, set by the Chinese two years ago, the Canadian contingent had their work cut out for them. With just a budget of 30 million to accomplish the task, the team, led by Executive Producer of Ceremonies David Atkins, did an oustanding job. Below are the highlights and lowlights.

What I didn't like:
Can we get someone to sing a natioanl anthem that is not trying to make a career out of it? C'mon! That was probably twice aaaaaassssss loooooooong aaaaassssss iiiiiiiitttttttt neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeded to beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

I hope Bryan Adams didn't spend more than 5 minutes writing that turd of a song. It was such a cheesy,  cliche' ridden pile of vomit that it should have been taken out back and shot.

Since when are they called "First Nations?" Is that just a Canadian thing or are we to expect that term to make its way down here? I am fine with aboriginal people or culture or nation. I know Injuns' is out of favor, but do we really need another term, when there are several already?

If the ceremonies are supposed to show some of the host country's culture, then where was the hockey and beer? I am pretty sure there are more people drinking beer and watching a hockey game than there are dancing around a tribal drum at any particular time up there.

I know it is not officially part of the ceremonies. but what was the matter with the original "We are the World?" I didn't even recognize more than a third of the people in the video. Unlike the original, from what I could see, there were no Rock or Country artists invited. Apparently the world is just pop and hip hop. Oh and Jeff Bridges. WTF?  YOU KIDS GET OFF MY LAWN!

The "cauldron" for the Olymipc Flame needed some viagra, apparently. So much for Canadian style health care.

Can we just get rid of all of the female opera singers? I am going to submit the pet psychologist bill for my dogs therapy to the Canadian Olympic Committee.

What I liked:
The use of projectors was brilliant! When the whales swam by was very cool, made even more realistic with the water spouts shooting up from them.

In a related topic to the projectors, I really liked using the crowd of atheletes as human screens through the use of what were, effectively, white Snuggies.

K.D. Lang kicks my ass every time I hear her sing! She has one of the most beautiful voices ever.

Did I mention the projectors? Oh yeah, very cool.

The limp columned "cauldron" for the Flame was pretty cool even if it had performance anxiety.

How could you not like "The Great One," carrying the torch? It would have been cool to have him, on ice, skating the flame, but what can you do? I wonder if his wife had money on him to trip or not?

Overall, the ceremony was well done and had some really great moments. Hopefully, the Olympics themselves will live up to them. Oh, and one question, if those people carrying the Canadian flag were the Mountees, where were the Mounters?

The Alpaca Buggerer.

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