Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Podcast 7-20-10

The first Alpaca Buggerer Podcast.
Fast Brits, flying donkeys, and more on this edition of The Alpaca Buggerer. But first a word from one of our fine sponsors.


A team of British scientists and engineers has created a full-scale model for a 1000mph car they intend to use to shatter the land speed record of 763 mph set back in 1997. Some experts say they may also break the record for most horrific crash.


Indonesia's Muslims learned on Friday they have been praying in the wrong direction

Muslims are supposed to face the holy city of Mecca in Saudi Arabia while praying, but they actually have been facing Somalia or Kenya.

The mix up came to light when a visitor from The United States was showing a local Muslim official, the compass app. on his I-Phone.


We'll be right back after this short commercial time -out:



Heroic mailman saves 3 lives while on the job

Keith McVey a postal worker from Akron, Ohio is hailed as a local hero. He has saved 3 lives in the last 20 years while on his route. When asked about the deeds of the mailman, an unidentified supervisor said that they would, unfortunately, have to fire the veteran mail-carrier. When asked why, the supervisor said that McVey's behaviour was doing damage to the service's long cultivated tradition of "going postal."


Breaking News!

This just in, 3 doves arrested for planning a coup.


Russian officials are investigating possible animal cruelty in the case of a donkey seen parasailing over a beach in Southern Russia.

An unidentified official claimed that the parasailing donkey was not a new type of stealth aircraft. He went on to say that the technology is old and had been developed for anti-aircraft cannon training.


More news after the break.


And now an opinion piece:


There is an age old question that needs to be answered. Many have tried but none have gotten the definitive answer. On one hand it has been said that "Bird" is "The Word." On the other hand, it has been claimed that "Grease" is "The Word." Now you might say, "wait a minute, I though that 'Word Up' was The Word." You would be wrong, as it is well documented that "Word Up," is actually the "Code Word" and not "The Word." But I digress. So now we have bird versus grease. Grease versus bird. How can we solve this age old conundrum? Hmmm. What if both side are correct? What if we put "The Bird," in "The Grease?" What would we get? We would get fried chicken! That's right, fired chicken. So now you know how to answer when someone asks you, "What’s the word?" You can answer with all confidence that "Fried Chicken” is, in fact, “The word.”

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Yo VIP! Let's kick it!

The Tampa Bay Rays are gonna say Ice Ice Baby! The Major League Baseball team is going to have early 90's "rapper," Vanilla Ice perform after a game as part of a concert series to boost attendance.

You know your team sucks when you have to get Vanilla Ice to perform in order to try to increase attendance. Can you say scraping the bottom of the barrel? Was Snow (Video Here) not available? Was Kriss Kross (Video Here) booked solid? Was the team not able to come to terms with the perfect early 90's rap/baseball tie in, 3rd Bass (Video Here) ?

I guess the team was Under Pressure to stop, collaborate, and listen to its fans, all 950 of them. I wish the Rays good luck with their promo and hopefully it bring spark the yearned for Another Bad Creation reunion tour.

Peace out,
-The Alpaca Buggerer

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Dearly beloved, we are here to mourn the Internet.

In an interview with the UK's Daily Mirror, pop music icon Prince says that he will never sell his music online, saying the Internet is no longer "hip."

"The Internet's like MTV. At one time MTV was hip and suddenly it became outdated."

However, I think it is safe to ammend his statement to read, "Prince is like MTV. At one time MTV was hip and suddenly it became outdated."
What is his new stat-of-the-art method of music distribution? Newspaper. His new CD is to be included for free in the UK's Daily Mirror.
 So apparently, the Internet is dead, but newspaper is the way of the future. The purple one has now officially lost his marbles. If he wanted to be completely cutting-edge, he should just issue it on 8-track, cassette tape, or even Mini-disc. I, for one, demand it be released on wax cylinder.
-The Alpaca Buggerer

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Where will Lebron go? Francophile Edition

Now that the free agent sweepstakes, free-for-all, and melee has started in the NBA, I figured that I would have to add my expert opinion on where the most talked about free agent, a certain Mr. Lebron James, will wind up playing next season.

 There are many who speculate that Lebron, which comes from the French for "the bron," will follow the money and just sign with the highest bidder. There are others who insist that Lebron, who is not from France, wants to win a championship and doesn't really care about the money as he is already making at least $40,000 per millisecond and stands to make even more, wherever he ends up.

I fall into the second camp, mainly because they have s'mores making paraphenlia. I think Monsiuer James, of not even French Canadian background, wants to win. I think that he will want to sign with a team that gives him the best chance to win. He doesn't want to be part of a rebuilding project. He will go to a proven winner. A team from a major market (No, Paris doesn't have an NBA team) where he can also get the exposure that he deserves. A team that, with Lebron on the court, will be almost a shoe-in to win. As a result of my tireless and expert analysis, I predict that Lebron James will sign with...

The Harlem Globetrotters. You heard it here first.

-The Alpaca Buggerer.