Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Monday, March 22, 2010
President Obama: "This is what change looks like." No, Mr. President, that is buttsex.
Way to go Congress! Way to pass a law that purposely destroys an industry! I set the over/under on single-payer, government run health care at 10 years. I'll take the under. Any takers? Let's look at some facts from this AP news report:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100320/ap_on_bi_ge/us_health_overhaul_glance
businesse...s are not required to offer coverage. They will be assessed a fee of $2000 per employee if they don't offer insurance. The basic math says that is less than what an employer pays for an average health plan for an employee. That means that financially, it would be dumb for a company to offer it's employees insurance.
So, now that your employer has dropped insurance, what do you do? You complain to your congresscritter. You join the now 200 million uninsured, due to the laws, "unintended consequences." The insurance companies have stopped providing health plans because they are a money loser. Congress now HAS TO ACT! The only answer is single-payer, government run health care because the "evil insurance companies and corporations that have no regard for the well being of the American people."
Once you have single-payer government health care, anything that you enjoy, that might harm you is fair game. Bacon? Taxed to high-heaven or gone. Anything with sugar in it, taxed or gone. "Risky," behaviors such as motorcycles, mountain climbing, skydiving, surfing are regulated or outright banned because they increase health care costs. You also need to prepare for long waits for care and don't think that just because it is government run that you will actually get care. Medicare and Medicaid deny claims for care all of the time. As the costs go up, things will have to be rationed as there just isn't the money.
I'd like to give a big attaboy to Nebraska Senator Ben Nelson. His being bribed with the "Cornhusker Kickback," delivered the deciding vote in the senate for the health care bill. Only to say that he Now, his bribe is going to be removed from the bill. Way to go! The only reason the bill passed the Senate in the first place is going to be removed.
So, way to go congress.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100320/ap_on_bi_ge/us_health_overhaul_glance
businesse...s are not required to offer coverage. They will be assessed a fee of $2000 per employee if they don't offer insurance. The basic math says that is less than what an employer pays for an average health plan for an employee. That means that financially, it would be dumb for a company to offer it's employees insurance.
So, now that your employer has dropped insurance, what do you do? You complain to your congresscritter. You join the now 200 million uninsured, due to the laws, "unintended consequences." The insurance companies have stopped providing health plans because they are a money loser. Congress now HAS TO ACT! The only answer is single-payer, government run health care because the "evil insurance companies and corporations that have no regard for the well being of the American people."
Once you have single-payer government health care, anything that you enjoy, that might harm you is fair game. Bacon? Taxed to high-heaven or gone. Anything with sugar in it, taxed or gone. "Risky," behaviors such as motorcycles, mountain climbing, skydiving, surfing are regulated or outright banned because they increase health care costs. You also need to prepare for long waits for care and don't think that just because it is government run that you will actually get care. Medicare and Medicaid deny claims for care all of the time. As the costs go up, things will have to be rationed as there just isn't the money.
I'd like to give a big attaboy to Nebraska Senator Ben Nelson. His being bribed with the "Cornhusker Kickback," delivered the deciding vote in the senate for the health care bill. Only to say that he Now, his bribe is going to be removed from the bill. Way to go! The only reason the bill passed the Senate in the first place is going to be removed.
So, way to go congress.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Jason's Census Tips
Note: I am not an official with the Census Bureau. The answers contained below may or may not be correct. Please consult your lawyer before filling out your census form.
Jason's Census Tip #1.
Question: According to the instructions on the form you must, "Count all people, INCLUDING BABIES, who live AND sleep here MOST OF THE TIME." I have a baby who lives here, but he/she seems to hardly sleep. Do I still count him/her?
Answer: That depends. You need to measure how much the baby sleeps on the night of April 1st. If it is over 50%, then the baby is counted. If the baby sleeps less than 50%, then you have an undocumented child and will be hearing from the proper authorities. I suggest Benadryl.
Jason's Census Tip #2.
Question: The instructions state, "Do not count anyone living in a nursing home, jail, prison, detention facility, etc., on April 1, 2010." What is their definition of prison? Sometimes I feel like I am trapped in my own hellish prison at home. Should I not count myself?
Answer: Even though the census form doesn't make an explicit definition of what constitutes a "prison," you can be safe to assume that they mean an actual penitentiary. You should count yourself, unless, of course, you are losing sleep over the definition of prison on April 1st.
Jason's Census Tip #3.
Question: The forms states, "If someone who has no permanent place to stay is staying here on April 1, 2010, count that person. Otherwise, he or she may be missed in the census." By tradition, my family has hosted a randomly chosen urban outdoorsman from March 1st to April 2nd. Since he will be leaving right after the census date, should we count him?
Answer: That depends. The instructions clearly state that you should count those who don't have a permanent palce to stay who are living with you. However, you need to determine how well he is sleeping on the night of the 1st. If he sleeps like a baby (unless it is the baby that is NOT sleeping, then this analogy doesn't work) you should count him. If he stays up all night drinking Mad Dog, leering at your teenaged daughter, and playing X-box, then you do not count him and wait for him to be deported to Guatemala.
Jason's Census Tip #4.
Question: "Question number 3 on the form asks, "Is this house, apartment, or mobile home-" and then there is a place to mark if it is owned with a mortgage, owned outright, rented, or occupied without rent. My question is, I am living in a tent in a shanty town, how do I answer this?"
Answer: OK, this one is easy. Since you are not paying rent or a mortgage, you should select the box for occupied without payment of rent. This selection also pertains to abandond crack houses and any property claimed under "squatters rights."
Follow-up Question: I thought that we didn't have to answer this question. Isn't the only question that requires and answer the one about how many people sleep there long enough to be counted as living there? What if your husband is Bill Clinton? How do you count where he sleeps?
Answer: Since I don't live with, nor am I married to Bill Clinton, I am not planning on answering about where he sleeps. However, He may end up at our place on April 1st. That is why it is important to wait to fill out the census. Of course, how well he sleeps when he is here will determine that answer also.
Jason's Census Tip #5.
Question: The form asks for your age and then your date of birth. Wouldn't just one of those be required? I mean, can't they just get your age from your date of birth?
Answer: What are you, a smart-aleck? It is obviously to catch those of you who lie about your age. There are people who have been 29 for so many years that they now believe it.
Jason's Census Tip #6.
Question: Oh wise Census Guy: Question #10 asks: Does Person 1 sometimes live or stay somewhere else? Well sometimes he stays in a hotel/motel when he travels. Do we still count him?
Answer: Great question and one that pertains to your very own Census Guy. Since the person lives primarily at the residence, then yes, you should count that person. But, also make sure to check the box under question 10, "For another Reason." This would include those who travel regularly and those who sometimes live in vans down by the river. OF course, this all depends on how well the person slept on the night of the 1st. See previous Tips for more information.
Jason's Census Tip #7.
Question: Census guy. I'm a musician. I live out of the back of my van. Will I be getting a census form on my windshield, or should I make sure to get counted in the club I'm playing at on the first?
Answer: Good question. Since the club is not a residence, they will not receive a census form. What you need to do is find a home to crash in for that night and have them count you. Make sure that they also mark Question 10 yes and select that "this person sometimes lives somewhere else." This selection covers those with a mobile living arrangement such as a van down by the river.
Follow-up Question: Nice catch on question 10. "Does Person 1 sometimes live or stay". Would this be applicable for the Illinois' governor's mansion as well?
Answer: The Governor's business in none of your business. Now, would you like to be deported?
Jason's Census Tip #8
Question: Census Guy: Q 6 regards a person's sex. Will hermaphrodites be able to sue the Census for lack of representation? Only options are M and F.
Answer: This is a sticky subject for the Census Bureau. The forms says to only check ONE box, male or female. A hermaphrodite would have to check both, but that choice is not available. After much research, it was found that hermaphrodites don't usually sleep well, so they will not actually be counted in the census and will be deported to Gibraltar. See previous Tips for discussion on the issue of sleep and the census.
Jason's Census tip #9
Question: What if there are more than 12 people sleeping at this residence on April 1st?
Answer: Please refer to the Spanish Language form for details.
Jason's Census Tip #10
Question: One more question Census Guy. I just asked my husband if we had received our Census form. He replied in the affirmative and then went on to tell me that he had already sent it in. Will we be prosecuted?
Answer: It depends on what he answered and how you sleep the night of the 1st. Also, try not to get arrested before then. Unless, of course, he answered in a way that anticipated the arrest.
Jason's Census Tip #1.
Question: According to the instructions on the form you must, "Count all people, INCLUDING BABIES, who live AND sleep here MOST OF THE TIME." I have a baby who lives here, but he/she seems to hardly sleep. Do I still count him/her?
Answer: That depends. You need to measure how much the baby sleeps on the night of April 1st. If it is over 50%, then the baby is counted. If the baby sleeps less than 50%, then you have an undocumented child and will be hearing from the proper authorities. I suggest Benadryl.
Jason's Census Tip #2.
Question: The instructions state, "Do not count anyone living in a nursing home, jail, prison, detention facility, etc., on April 1, 2010." What is their definition of prison? Sometimes I feel like I am trapped in my own hellish prison at home. Should I not count myself?
Answer: Even though the census form doesn't make an explicit definition of what constitutes a "prison," you can be safe to assume that they mean an actual penitentiary. You should count yourself, unless, of course, you are losing sleep over the definition of prison on April 1st.
Jason's Census Tip #3.
Question: The forms states, "If someone who has no permanent place to stay is staying here on April 1, 2010, count that person. Otherwise, he or she may be missed in the census." By tradition, my family has hosted a randomly chosen urban outdoorsman from March 1st to April 2nd. Since he will be leaving right after the census date, should we count him?
Answer: That depends. The instructions clearly state that you should count those who don't have a permanent palce to stay who are living with you. However, you need to determine how well he is sleeping on the night of the 1st. If he sleeps like a baby (unless it is the baby that is NOT sleeping, then this analogy doesn't work) you should count him. If he stays up all night drinking Mad Dog, leering at your teenaged daughter, and playing X-box, then you do not count him and wait for him to be deported to Guatemala.
Jason's Census Tip #4.
Question: "Question number 3 on the form asks, "Is this house, apartment, or mobile home-" and then there is a place to mark if it is owned with a mortgage, owned outright, rented, or occupied without rent. My question is, I am living in a tent in a shanty town, how do I answer this?"
Answer: OK, this one is easy. Since you are not paying rent or a mortgage, you should select the box for occupied without payment of rent. This selection also pertains to abandond crack houses and any property claimed under "squatters rights."
Follow-up Question: I thought that we didn't have to answer this question. Isn't the only question that requires and answer the one about how many people sleep there long enough to be counted as living there? What if your husband is Bill Clinton? How do you count where he sleeps?
Answer: Since I don't live with, nor am I married to Bill Clinton, I am not planning on answering about where he sleeps. However, He may end up at our place on April 1st. That is why it is important to wait to fill out the census. Of course, how well he sleeps when he is here will determine that answer also.
Jason's Census Tip #5.
Question: The form asks for your age and then your date of birth. Wouldn't just one of those be required? I mean, can't they just get your age from your date of birth?
Answer: What are you, a smart-aleck? It is obviously to catch those of you who lie about your age. There are people who have been 29 for so many years that they now believe it.
Jason's Census Tip #6.
Question: Oh wise Census Guy: Question #10 asks: Does Person 1 sometimes live or stay somewhere else? Well sometimes he stays in a hotel/motel when he travels. Do we still count him?
Answer: Great question and one that pertains to your very own Census Guy. Since the person lives primarily at the residence, then yes, you should count that person. But, also make sure to check the box under question 10, "For another Reason." This would include those who travel regularly and those who sometimes live in vans down by the river. OF course, this all depends on how well the person slept on the night of the 1st. See previous Tips for more information.
Jason's Census Tip #7.
Question: Census guy. I'm a musician. I live out of the back of my van. Will I be getting a census form on my windshield, or should I make sure to get counted in the club I'm playing at on the first?
Answer: Good question. Since the club is not a residence, they will not receive a census form. What you need to do is find a home to crash in for that night and have them count you. Make sure that they also mark Question 10 yes and select that "this person sometimes lives somewhere else." This selection covers those with a mobile living arrangement such as a van down by the river.
Follow-up Question: Nice catch on question 10. "Does Person 1 sometimes live or stay". Would this be applicable for the Illinois' governor's mansion as well?
Answer: The Governor's business in none of your business. Now, would you like to be deported?
Jason's Census Tip #8
Question: Census Guy: Q 6 regards a person's sex. Will hermaphrodites be able to sue the Census for lack of representation? Only options are M and F.
Answer: This is a sticky subject for the Census Bureau. The forms says to only check ONE box, male or female. A hermaphrodite would have to check both, but that choice is not available. After much research, it was found that hermaphrodites don't usually sleep well, so they will not actually be counted in the census and will be deported to Gibraltar. See previous Tips for discussion on the issue of sleep and the census.
Jason's Census tip #9
Question: What if there are more than 12 people sleeping at this residence on April 1st?
Answer: Please refer to the Spanish Language form for details.
Jason's Census Tip #10
Question: One more question Census Guy. I just asked my husband if we had received our Census form. He replied in the affirmative and then went on to tell me that he had already sent it in. Will we be prosecuted?
Answer: It depends on what he answered and how you sleep the night of the 1st. Also, try not to get arrested before then. Unless, of course, he answered in a way that anticipated the arrest.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Winnie the Pooh and Addiction too
 Recently, it was announced that, for the first time in over 80 years, there would be a new Winnie the Pooh novel coming out. Apparently it is going to be updated for modern times. Eeyore will battle addiction to anti-depressants. It will expose, for the first time, Tigger's meth habit, and the main story will focus on Pooh's honey "problem."  |
Poll: Chileans unhappy with gov't's quake response
 In a poll released Sunday, Most Chileans are unhappy with the response to the earthquake. In the poll, 20 percent believed that aid agencies were too slow to respond. 17 percent said that the extensive damage caused the delays. 63 percent blamed George Bush.  |
From the Soylent Green Files
 A Western Massachusetts funeral home is trying "bring life" to business with a chili cook-off. Now you can be buried, cremated, or simmered. Among other other events sponsored by the funeral home are monthly birthday cakes to the Pittsfield Senior Center. Inscribed on each cake is, "We hope to see you soon!"  |
My inner A**hole
 I think I am too much of a nice guy. I have been trying to get in touch with my inner asshole. Unfortunately, I found my prostate and haven't left my house in 3 days.  |
Canada Proposes New National Anthem
  New transgendered maple leaf flag, with breasts, also to debut soon. Government spokesperson claims the new flag, "does not have an Adam's apple."  |
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