Friday, August 20, 2010

Abhorrent Family Stickers

Have you seen these little family stick figures on the back of vans and SUV's? I am sure you have. They are usually a Mommy, Daddy, a kid or two, and a pet or pets. Like this:


Very cute. Until recently, I thought that these little stick people represented the family in the car. What I saw the other day made me rethink this. I saw a full-size Chevy Suburban with stick figures of 2 adults, 8 children, and a dog on the rear window. This caused me to pause and try to come to grips with what that was saying. Is that a family with 8 children? They sure would like you to think that. The truth, I believe, is far more heinous. I believe these people are using an artistic technique that became popular with the fighter pilots in World War 2. See exhibit A below:

The above photo show a picture of the aircraft of Marine Corps Major Gregory "Pappy" Boyington. Pappy was one of the most famous "aces" of World War II. He was commander of the famed "Black Sheep" squadron which was immortalized in a 1970's television series. If you look closely at the photo, you will see several rows of Japanese flags painted under the cockpit of Major Boyington's plane. Each one of those flags represents an enemy aircraft that the Major shot down during combat, also known as a "kill."

This leads me to the stickers now seen on many SUV's and vans today. I believe that there is a secret underground group that are documenting their activities on their vehicles. I have come to the conclusion that these stickers do not represent the family in the automobile, but in fact are tallies of the pedestrian "kills," the driver has made. The SUV I saw with the 2 adults, 8 children, and dog, has to be the "Pappy" Boyington of killer SUV drivers. I mean 8 kids? C'mon, who are you trying to fool.

The Alpaca Buggerer.

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